(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2017 03:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whatevs posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
elyurias“Wake up!”
Izuminokami groans and burrows more into his blankets, trying to cling to the comfort of his bed just a little while longer while his patron marches towards him. It's a pointless battle, but it's one that he won't give up on. He doesn't care if he's an omega, making him wake up every day before even the sun is out is just unfair. He's just a kid and kids need sleep. Not whatever hellish ideas they have ready for him this day.
His patron gives him just a few seconds before he's speaking again. “Your alarm went off. You should know by now it's time to get up and start getting ready.” Izuminokami whimpers in response which basically means go away. “What was that?”
“Tired,” Izuminokami says, yawning widely mostly for show. “Too tired.” He shrieks when the blankets are torn off of him, the cold air shocking his system and he sits up. “What the hell was that for, you--”
His patron has his hand raised, ready to slap him at any moment's notice and it makes Izuminokami wither. Part of him knows he hasn't done anything to be slapped yet. His face is too important to bruise. But sometimes he doesn't know how far he can go before being punished and for the moment, he does back down from the insult he was about to throw out.
“You know by now you can't talk like that. Your father has given me strict orders to punish you for every time you don't talk properly. If you say one more ill word I'll make sure you regret it.” Izuminokami pouts and rubs at his tired eyes. His patron doesn't show an ounce of pity. “Don't feel sorry for yourself when you know you'll be punished for talking like a punk. So up! Come on. You need to look presentable. Your hair is a mess and you don't even remotely look good enough for school.”
Already he's frustrated with his day and it hasn't begun. He wants to cry but then he knows his patron will tell his dad about his weak composure and an omega can't ever be anything but calm. He's tired, he doesn't want to go to school, and he doesn't want to get ready for it.
“Izuminokami.” He says nothing, stubbornly deciding that maybe if he just doesn't do anything they'll be forced to accept he doesn't want to go to finishing school. “I know you can hear me. Get up and get dressed.” Still, he says nothing. “Do you want me to get your father in here?” That's hardly a threat, Izuminokami thinks, and remains quiet. “Izuminokami! Ugh, you're such a little—come on. Obviously I need to dress you myself.”
The hard thing about being a child, Izuminokami thinks, is that you're too small and so you can easily be picked up. But he screams and kicks all the way to the bathroom, using every dirty word he's learned so far in his short life. Maybe he can't stop any of this, but never will he just accept it. That's like giving up.
- - - -
His mouth tastes like soap and he tries not to lick off the gloss that's been applied to his lips as his dame lectures him. He hadn't been slapped and while he's being told off for his unruly behavior, he doesn't feel ready to stop talking like he does. His patron will know just how he feels as soon as school is done. But until then he has to put up with his dame, who is really more intimidating than anybody else he has to deal with from day to day.
His long dark hair is pulled back harshly into an intricate style and he hisses in pain as he feels his scalp be tugged along with it. This style frames his face better or something. It's actually just a huge headache and he's complained he's way too young for headaches. He was told to shut up.
“We've put everything we have into your education! Into your robes, your make-up, your everything! We give you the best diet we can afford, we plan everything we can into you. Izuminokami, can't you show us any appreciation? We—Izuminokami! Stop licking your lips!” His dame sighs loudly and goes to get more gloss before he kneels down to apply more to his lips. “How many times do I have to tell you not to lick it off?”
“But it's hard,” Izuminokami whines. “It feels weird on my lips! I don't like it. Why do my lips have to shine? Is it for kissing? I don't even have a mate so why do I need shiny lips? And why is all this stuff all over my face because I don't even have pimples! Why do I gotta do all this stupid stuff?”
“And don't whine!”
“But--”
“You listen here,” his dame says in that tone that even Izuminokami shrivels under. Whoever said omegas were demure and quiet didn't know his dame. “Your father doesn't deserve this. He works as hard as he can to keep us in favor with the dynasty, pulling whatever stunt they come up with. Every bit of extra cash we have goes into you. I don't care if you don't like it. You are an omega, you are going to find a proper mate, and you are going to give your father what he deserves! Do you understand?”
Izuminokami pouts and doesn't nod, but he doesn't disagree and so they all know that's as good as it gets. His dame sighs and goes back to getting his hair ready as Izuminokami ponders over a question. It takes him a while to give it a voice because he knows what he'll be told.
“But dad, what do I deserve?” he finally asks when he gathers the nerve.
“Don't be selfish. An omega never asks that kind of question and the sooner you realize this, the better off we'll all be. Now put your head up straight, I'm almost done with your hair.”
He got the answer he was expecting. How many times has he been told he doesn't matter? Countless times and he ponders storming out of the chair if he didn't think most of his hair would be yanked out of his scalp. For the moment, he just decides to pity himself. Pouting and looking into the mirror at this beautiful face that has given him this life. He thinks for a moment he wishes he was born ugly. What was the use of being beautiful if that was all you were good for?
- - - -
At finishing school, alphas and omegas are separated for classes. An alpha learns to lead and an omega learns to be a slave as Izuminokami calls it. When you're an omega, you learn to give your everything to your alpha. The only useful things are reading, writing, and some basic math. You don't want an illiterate omega to inconvenience an alpha after all.
The only time the two meet are during recess. At this age, it's not dangerous since hormones aren't coming into play just yet. Omegas need to learn how to act for an alpha anyway. But all it really is is a chance for alphas to just be shown over and over they are the only ones that matter. Izuminokami doesn't think any of the omegas like this. He's asked a few of them, hoping if more complained then this could stop, but they also don't like to talk to him more than necessary. He's a trouble-maker and getting associated with him makes them look bad. Not that Izuminokami wanted to be their friends, but still. There's power in numbers and he can't do anything on his own when he has multiple alphas acting like they're better than everybody else. They see what they can get away with. If adults see it they stop it from going too far. But that's if they see it and they usually don't. It's easy to hide and omegas won't tattle on an alpha. It isn't so much that he cars about the alphas and more he just isn't a snitch. His approach is a little more hands on.
So when he sees an alpha picking on an omega? Of course he goes to stand up to him and of course when that same brat makes a comment about his father and family, Izuminokami lunges at him and starts throwing punches.
And of course this is when the adults come running over.
It's really the one alpha's fault, Izuminokami says as he holds an icepack to his swollen cheek. He'll have a good bruise, the alpha got one good punch in, but that was it. The stupid alpha got a bloody nose and two black eyes. Izuminokami was proud of himself, but the teachers and his family were not.
His father had been called from work, embarrassed. His father is quiet for an alpha, someone who has been beat down by their society and the humiliation from his family name. But he is nice, Izuminokami thinks, and he does feel bad when he embarrasses him. His dame is right, he doesn't really deserve it. Good people deserve good things and his father is nothing if not good. But Izuminokami doesn't think he deserves what he gets either and so he won't just put up with everything because he's a Kanesada omega. He didn't ask to be one.
“Izuminokami is a beautiful omega, but his personality is – how do I put this? Far less appealing. This is the second fight this week and he won't apologize for it,” his teacher says, looking sternly at Izuminokami who just stares back. What does he have to be ashamed of? “He won't listen in class and when he is asked to participate, he won't.”
“It's boring and I don't want to,” Izuminokami cuts in and his dame shoots him a look is supposed to intimidate him into being quiet. It doesn't work. When he has an audience it's easier to stand up to him. His dame can't do anything if he wants to seem like a good omega. “I shouldn't even be in trouble. It's that alpha who should be. He was picking on someone and then when I told him to stop, he started picking on me.” Izuminokami leaves out the part about how even a kid was making fun of the Kanesada name. His father didn't deserve even more humiliation.
“An omega doesn't interject himself into someone's business. An omega stays quiet and most importantly, they do not start fights. If you had simply told someone about what was happening, then we could have solved the problem. Instead you decided to act like a hooligan and fight him.”
“Oh yeah, you would have really fixed it. Probably would have made all of us omegas kiss his feet!”
The teacher sighs loudly and then looks at his father. “This is the problem. I don't really know what to suggest. Your child has a severe personality problem and until you correct it, I'm not sure what good we can do for him.”
“Hey! I don't have a problem! It's all the stupid alphas who think they own--”
“Izuminokami!” He's being picked up and his mouth is covered by his dame before he can say anything else. His face is red and now he's embarrassed his dame as well. Not that Izuminokami cares too much about that detail. They asked for it by sending him here when he said he didn't want to go.
This time his father finally speaks up and is bowing. “I want to apologize for the unruly behavior of my child. I'm deeply shamed by his actions and I'm sure that after we have a talking to him, you will see a serious improvement. I ask that you please allow Izuminokami one more chance to prove himself worthy of this school's teaching. I assure you this won't happen again.”
The teacher doesn't look too certain of it, but he nods. “See that it won't. I'm sure we'll be speaking again soon.”
- - - -
“I told you just this morning how you need to respect us more! Does what we do for you mean nothing? Does all the hard work your father does to give you the clothes you wear mean nothing at all to you?”
Izuminokami won't look them in the eye, sitting on a couch with his arms crossed. It's the same thing every time. He's an awful omega, an awful child, and they don't deserve this.
“Izuminokami! You look at us as we speak to you!” He looks at them. “Now answer me. Do you care at all about all that we sacrifice for you?”
“Not really,” he answers truthfully and Izuminokami can see how his dame is ready to lose his temper. He has a short fuse and Izuminokami knows all the right buttons to press to make him lose it. Right now he kind of wants a fight. Maybe it was because he was in one earlier but whatever the reason may be, fighting with his dame seems like it might make him feel better.
“You,” his dame all but growls. His fists are clenched and Izuminokami stares at him straight on, urging him to do anything. “You are lucky I have more patience than you deserve. You make me want to--”
“Dear,” his father cuts in and takes his hand, squeezing it in his own. “Relax. He's a child. He doesn't understand. And anger doesn't look good on you.” It's a murmur, as if Izuminokami can't hear.
“I'm not deaf,” he snaps and that seems to be the last straw holding in everything he had. Not that it takes much since he has his dame's temper. “Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I'm stupid! All you guys ever talk about is what a crummy reputation we got! Everybody thinks our family is trash and so it's all up to me to marry some alpha so people will like us again! And I don't care! I don't care about being a good omega, I don't care about the family, I don't care about the stupid dynasty, and I just don't CARE!” He screams the last word and he doesn't know when it began, but he's started crying. He cries harder as he just keeps repeating that he doesn't care because he doesn't. To be mated to some alpha, to belong to someone who can treat you however they want? That isn't something he wants at all. To be told over and over that everything about him is bad, that he's some defective child; is tiring. He's sick of it all.
Izuminokami expects for him to be yelled at but instead his dame sighs, all anger seemingly leaving him as he pulls away from his alpha to attend to his small child. “You're tired. You need sleep.”
“I don't need sleep! I don't want to!” But for the millionth time that day he's picked up and he starts kicking, screaming to be put down. His dame has long grown accustomed to these hysterics and handles him with ease. He's put down on his bed and his dame doesn't bother to argue, simply tells him to nap and he'll wake him up in time for dinner. Izuminokami screams he doesn't want food, but it falls upon deaf ears as the door closes to leave him by himself. The lock clicks because that's the only way to keep him inside. He runs to the door and bangs on it, shouting about how he isn't some animal. Still not one to give up, he screams until he's out of breath and makes a mess. He throws his pillows, blankets, and clothes in the drawers. When it's out of his system, he looks at his handiwork with just a little bit of pride. He'll have to clean it up but for now he feels better.
Not having a pillow, he lays his head on the mattress, staring at the wall as he tells himself he's not tired. Even when his eyes close and he dozes off, it isn't sleepiness because he sure as hell won't sleep just because they told him to.
Izuminokami groans and burrows more into his blankets, trying to cling to the comfort of his bed just a little while longer while his patron marches towards him. It's a pointless battle, but it's one that he won't give up on. He doesn't care if he's an omega, making him wake up every day before even the sun is out is just unfair. He's just a kid and kids need sleep. Not whatever hellish ideas they have ready for him this day.
His patron gives him just a few seconds before he's speaking again. “Your alarm went off. You should know by now it's time to get up and start getting ready.” Izuminokami whimpers in response which basically means go away. “What was that?”
“Tired,” Izuminokami says, yawning widely mostly for show. “Too tired.” He shrieks when the blankets are torn off of him, the cold air shocking his system and he sits up. “What the hell was that for, you--”
His patron has his hand raised, ready to slap him at any moment's notice and it makes Izuminokami wither. Part of him knows he hasn't done anything to be slapped yet. His face is too important to bruise. But sometimes he doesn't know how far he can go before being punished and for the moment, he does back down from the insult he was about to throw out.
“You know by now you can't talk like that. Your father has given me strict orders to punish you for every time you don't talk properly. If you say one more ill word I'll make sure you regret it.” Izuminokami pouts and rubs at his tired eyes. His patron doesn't show an ounce of pity. “Don't feel sorry for yourself when you know you'll be punished for talking like a punk. So up! Come on. You need to look presentable. Your hair is a mess and you don't even remotely look good enough for school.”
Already he's frustrated with his day and it hasn't begun. He wants to cry but then he knows his patron will tell his dad about his weak composure and an omega can't ever be anything but calm. He's tired, he doesn't want to go to school, and he doesn't want to get ready for it.
“Izuminokami.” He says nothing, stubbornly deciding that maybe if he just doesn't do anything they'll be forced to accept he doesn't want to go to finishing school. “I know you can hear me. Get up and get dressed.” Still, he says nothing. “Do you want me to get your father in here?” That's hardly a threat, Izuminokami thinks, and remains quiet. “Izuminokami! Ugh, you're such a little—come on. Obviously I need to dress you myself.”
The hard thing about being a child, Izuminokami thinks, is that you're too small and so you can easily be picked up. But he screams and kicks all the way to the bathroom, using every dirty word he's learned so far in his short life. Maybe he can't stop any of this, but never will he just accept it. That's like giving up.
- - - -
His mouth tastes like soap and he tries not to lick off the gloss that's been applied to his lips as his dame lectures him. He hadn't been slapped and while he's being told off for his unruly behavior, he doesn't feel ready to stop talking like he does. His patron will know just how he feels as soon as school is done. But until then he has to put up with his dame, who is really more intimidating than anybody else he has to deal with from day to day.
His long dark hair is pulled back harshly into an intricate style and he hisses in pain as he feels his scalp be tugged along with it. This style frames his face better or something. It's actually just a huge headache and he's complained he's way too young for headaches. He was told to shut up.
“We've put everything we have into your education! Into your robes, your make-up, your everything! We give you the best diet we can afford, we plan everything we can into you. Izuminokami, can't you show us any appreciation? We—Izuminokami! Stop licking your lips!” His dame sighs loudly and goes to get more gloss before he kneels down to apply more to his lips. “How many times do I have to tell you not to lick it off?”
“But it's hard,” Izuminokami whines. “It feels weird on my lips! I don't like it. Why do my lips have to shine? Is it for kissing? I don't even have a mate so why do I need shiny lips? And why is all this stuff all over my face because I don't even have pimples! Why do I gotta do all this stupid stuff?”
“And don't whine!”
“But--”
“You listen here,” his dame says in that tone that even Izuminokami shrivels under. Whoever said omegas were demure and quiet didn't know his dame. “Your father doesn't deserve this. He works as hard as he can to keep us in favor with the dynasty, pulling whatever stunt they come up with. Every bit of extra cash we have goes into you. I don't care if you don't like it. You are an omega, you are going to find a proper mate, and you are going to give your father what he deserves! Do you understand?”
Izuminokami pouts and doesn't nod, but he doesn't disagree and so they all know that's as good as it gets. His dame sighs and goes back to getting his hair ready as Izuminokami ponders over a question. It takes him a while to give it a voice because he knows what he'll be told.
“But dad, what do I deserve?” he finally asks when he gathers the nerve.
“Don't be selfish. An omega never asks that kind of question and the sooner you realize this, the better off we'll all be. Now put your head up straight, I'm almost done with your hair.”
He got the answer he was expecting. How many times has he been told he doesn't matter? Countless times and he ponders storming out of the chair if he didn't think most of his hair would be yanked out of his scalp. For the moment, he just decides to pity himself. Pouting and looking into the mirror at this beautiful face that has given him this life. He thinks for a moment he wishes he was born ugly. What was the use of being beautiful if that was all you were good for?
- - - -
At finishing school, alphas and omegas are separated for classes. An alpha learns to lead and an omega learns to be a slave as Izuminokami calls it. When you're an omega, you learn to give your everything to your alpha. The only useful things are reading, writing, and some basic math. You don't want an illiterate omega to inconvenience an alpha after all.
The only time the two meet are during recess. At this age, it's not dangerous since hormones aren't coming into play just yet. Omegas need to learn how to act for an alpha anyway. But all it really is is a chance for alphas to just be shown over and over they are the only ones that matter. Izuminokami doesn't think any of the omegas like this. He's asked a few of them, hoping if more complained then this could stop, but they also don't like to talk to him more than necessary. He's a trouble-maker and getting associated with him makes them look bad. Not that Izuminokami wanted to be their friends, but still. There's power in numbers and he can't do anything on his own when he has multiple alphas acting like they're better than everybody else. They see what they can get away with. If adults see it they stop it from going too far. But that's if they see it and they usually don't. It's easy to hide and omegas won't tattle on an alpha. It isn't so much that he cars about the alphas and more he just isn't a snitch. His approach is a little more hands on.
So when he sees an alpha picking on an omega? Of course he goes to stand up to him and of course when that same brat makes a comment about his father and family, Izuminokami lunges at him and starts throwing punches.
And of course this is when the adults come running over.
It's really the one alpha's fault, Izuminokami says as he holds an icepack to his swollen cheek. He'll have a good bruise, the alpha got one good punch in, but that was it. The stupid alpha got a bloody nose and two black eyes. Izuminokami was proud of himself, but the teachers and his family were not.
His father had been called from work, embarrassed. His father is quiet for an alpha, someone who has been beat down by their society and the humiliation from his family name. But he is nice, Izuminokami thinks, and he does feel bad when he embarrasses him. His dame is right, he doesn't really deserve it. Good people deserve good things and his father is nothing if not good. But Izuminokami doesn't think he deserves what he gets either and so he won't just put up with everything because he's a Kanesada omega. He didn't ask to be one.
“Izuminokami is a beautiful omega, but his personality is – how do I put this? Far less appealing. This is the second fight this week and he won't apologize for it,” his teacher says, looking sternly at Izuminokami who just stares back. What does he have to be ashamed of? “He won't listen in class and when he is asked to participate, he won't.”
“It's boring and I don't want to,” Izuminokami cuts in and his dame shoots him a look is supposed to intimidate him into being quiet. It doesn't work. When he has an audience it's easier to stand up to him. His dame can't do anything if he wants to seem like a good omega. “I shouldn't even be in trouble. It's that alpha who should be. He was picking on someone and then when I told him to stop, he started picking on me.” Izuminokami leaves out the part about how even a kid was making fun of the Kanesada name. His father didn't deserve even more humiliation.
“An omega doesn't interject himself into someone's business. An omega stays quiet and most importantly, they do not start fights. If you had simply told someone about what was happening, then we could have solved the problem. Instead you decided to act like a hooligan and fight him.”
“Oh yeah, you would have really fixed it. Probably would have made all of us omegas kiss his feet!”
The teacher sighs loudly and then looks at his father. “This is the problem. I don't really know what to suggest. Your child has a severe personality problem and until you correct it, I'm not sure what good we can do for him.”
“Hey! I don't have a problem! It's all the stupid alphas who think they own--”
“Izuminokami!” He's being picked up and his mouth is covered by his dame before he can say anything else. His face is red and now he's embarrassed his dame as well. Not that Izuminokami cares too much about that detail. They asked for it by sending him here when he said he didn't want to go.
This time his father finally speaks up and is bowing. “I want to apologize for the unruly behavior of my child. I'm deeply shamed by his actions and I'm sure that after we have a talking to him, you will see a serious improvement. I ask that you please allow Izuminokami one more chance to prove himself worthy of this school's teaching. I assure you this won't happen again.”
The teacher doesn't look too certain of it, but he nods. “See that it won't. I'm sure we'll be speaking again soon.”
- - - -
“I told you just this morning how you need to respect us more! Does what we do for you mean nothing? Does all the hard work your father does to give you the clothes you wear mean nothing at all to you?”
Izuminokami won't look them in the eye, sitting on a couch with his arms crossed. It's the same thing every time. He's an awful omega, an awful child, and they don't deserve this.
“Izuminokami! You look at us as we speak to you!” He looks at them. “Now answer me. Do you care at all about all that we sacrifice for you?”
“Not really,” he answers truthfully and Izuminokami can see how his dame is ready to lose his temper. He has a short fuse and Izuminokami knows all the right buttons to press to make him lose it. Right now he kind of wants a fight. Maybe it was because he was in one earlier but whatever the reason may be, fighting with his dame seems like it might make him feel better.
“You,” his dame all but growls. His fists are clenched and Izuminokami stares at him straight on, urging him to do anything. “You are lucky I have more patience than you deserve. You make me want to--”
“Dear,” his father cuts in and takes his hand, squeezing it in his own. “Relax. He's a child. He doesn't understand. And anger doesn't look good on you.” It's a murmur, as if Izuminokami can't hear.
“I'm not deaf,” he snaps and that seems to be the last straw holding in everything he had. Not that it takes much since he has his dame's temper. “Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean I'm stupid! All you guys ever talk about is what a crummy reputation we got! Everybody thinks our family is trash and so it's all up to me to marry some alpha so people will like us again! And I don't care! I don't care about being a good omega, I don't care about the family, I don't care about the stupid dynasty, and I just don't CARE!” He screams the last word and he doesn't know when it began, but he's started crying. He cries harder as he just keeps repeating that he doesn't care because he doesn't. To be mated to some alpha, to belong to someone who can treat you however they want? That isn't something he wants at all. To be told over and over that everything about him is bad, that he's some defective child; is tiring. He's sick of it all.
Izuminokami expects for him to be yelled at but instead his dame sighs, all anger seemingly leaving him as he pulls away from his alpha to attend to his small child. “You're tired. You need sleep.”
“I don't need sleep! I don't want to!” But for the millionth time that day he's picked up and he starts kicking, screaming to be put down. His dame has long grown accustomed to these hysterics and handles him with ease. He's put down on his bed and his dame doesn't bother to argue, simply tells him to nap and he'll wake him up in time for dinner. Izuminokami screams he doesn't want food, but it falls upon deaf ears as the door closes to leave him by himself. The lock clicks because that's the only way to keep him inside. He runs to the door and bangs on it, shouting about how he isn't some animal. Still not one to give up, he screams until he's out of breath and makes a mess. He throws his pillows, blankets, and clothes in the drawers. When it's out of his system, he looks at his handiwork with just a little bit of pride. He'll have to clean it up but for now he feels better.
Not having a pillow, he lays his head on the mattress, staring at the wall as he tells himself he's not tired. Even when his eyes close and he dozes off, it isn't sleepiness because he sure as hell won't sleep just because they told him to.
